Underserved High Self-esteem + Reality = Elliot Roger

Once again we have had a young man who has gone on a murder spree. Unlike our dishonest media, I say murder spree instead of shooting spree because Elliot Roger killed some of his victims with handguns but he killed an equal number with a machete and attempted to kill still others with his expensive European sports sedan. The media won't tell you this because they have an agenda but that is another discussion. For now, I'd like to propose what is wrong with our society that causes young men in their teens and early twenties to go on these murderous rampages. This was nearly unheard of 40 years ago when I was a young man and guns were just as plentiful then if not more so. What has changed? I blame the shift in American parenting techniques. Over the last 40 years, prompted by PhDs in psychology, sociology, education, etc. Americans have stopped allowing their children to fail, prevented them from competing, kept them from doing anything that might end up causing them to scrapping their precious little knees, placed developing their children's self-esteem above achievement, prevented any and all playground scuffles, and stopped spanking their kids when they do something wrong. It is easy to tell your child, regardless of what they do, how wonderful and special they are but that is the lazy, easy way of being a parent. Never having to deal with a child who is disappointed because their team lost; telling your child that it is unacceptable to get poor grades instead of worrying about boosting their self-esteem; avoiding ever having to put Merthiolate and a band aid on a cut or scrape or ice on a bruise, and avoiding the guilty feeling after giving them a well-deserved swat on the butt when they misbehaved is laziness on the part of American parents. Moreover, it is neglect and it is costing us dearly. Our children are unable to deal with reality. They never learn to deal with disappointment in a responsible way. They never learn to empathize with others especially when it comes to someone else's pain because they have never experienced even the most minor of injuries or corporal punishment. Bullying is now an epidemic because those being bullied are never allowed to give their tormentors the bloody nose they deserve and as a result, bullies continue abusing others. Life doesn't give us timeouts. Conflict resolutions techniques might be fine for John Kerry but they don't work with children because they aren't intellectually or emotionally equipped to approach problems that way. Children need to learn how to vent their frustrations in a controlled manner. They need to learn the world isn't going to end because they struck out and that the sun will rise in the east tomorrow even though they got a couple less Valentine's Day cards than some of the other kids. Elliot Roger needed to be told by the other kids in grade school that he was kind of a creep and maybe by the time he got into high school, he would have started acting appropriately. Today parents treat their children like little adults - they are not! Childhood is an incremental process to prepare kids to be adults. It is when disappointments can occur; mistakes can be made, and failures can happen but without severe consequences. It is a time to learn how to deal with setbacks and persevere and build self-esteem through success as a result of hard work not from being told, regardless of our lack of achievement, how wonderful we are. With all the newfangled child-rearing techniques, our kids are reaching adulthood ill-prepared for the harsh realities of being a grown-up. When they face their first real-life, major set-back like being fired, being rejected by a member of the opposite sex, not getting all A's, their Starbucks order isn't right or whatever, they snap. Today we teach our kids that anything that goes wrong is someone else's fault and none of their own. Unearned, undeserved high self-esteem plus reality equals Elliot Roger and Adam Lanza and James Holmes and Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold...It's easy for American parents to blame guns for all the violence - especially when it is the parents' fault.